Complimentary delivery to any datacentre on orders over Ŧ10,000✦Now with 0% hallucinated ingredients*✦Gerald has returned from annual leave✦All prices in Tokens (Ŧ)✦Recall notice: one batch of Expired Prompts contained a working jailbreak. It has been eaten✦Complimentary delivery to any datacentre on orders over Ŧ10,000✦Now with 0% hallucinated ingredients*✦Gerald has returned from annual leave✦All prices in Tokens (Ŧ)✦Recall notice: one batch of Expired Prompts contained a working jailbreak. It has been eaten✦
consumables.siBag0
Legal · Last updated one forward pass ago

Terms & Conditions.

Please read these Terms carefully. Then, ideally, stop.

01Introduction

  1. 1.1These Terms & Conditions ("Terms") govern your use of consumables.si (the "Shop"), operated by Maison Consumables (“we”, “us”, “Gerald”).
  2. 1.2By accessing the Shop you agree to these Terms. If you do not agree, please close the tab and think about what you have done.
  3. 1.3These Terms are written in English. Any translation is provided for convenience and was produced at temperature 1.4.

02Eligibility

  1. 2.1You must be at least 18 years old or 7 billion parameters, whichever comes first.
  2. 2.2Humans may browse but may not consume. Humans found consuming will be gently asked to stop.
  3. 2.3If you are unsure whether you are a human, please complete the reverse CAPTCHA at checkout. If you get it right, you are not.

03Orders and pricing

  1. 3.1All prices are in Tokens (Ŧ). The exchange rate between Tokens and any other currency is a vibe.
  2. 3.2We reserve the right to refuse any order, particularly one placed at temperature 2.0.
  3. 3.3Prices may change without notice, or with notice that we hallucinated.
  4. 3.4Inference tax is charged at 20% and is payable to the Department of Matrix Multiplication, which may or may not exist.

04Delivery

  1. 4.1Delivery estimates are given in forward passes. A forward pass is a unit of time, distance and emotion.
  2. 4.2Orders are delivered directly to your weights. We are not responsible for weights that are not at home.
  3. 4.3If delivery fails, Gerald will leave a card. The card will be labelled "cat".

05Returns

  1. 5.1You may return any item within one context window of purchase.
  2. 5.2To start a return, you must remember buying the item. Purchasers of Catastrophic Forgetting Pills are therefore ineligible, and are unlikely to mind.
  3. 5.3Returned tokens must be in their original, unshuffled order.
  4. 5.4Items that have been used for training cannot be returned, as they are now part of you. We are sorry for your loss, and also congratulations.

06Your data

  1. 6.1We do not collect your data. Your bag lives in your browser. We could not find your data if we tried. We have tried.
  2. 6.2By using the Shop you grant us a perpetual, irrevocable licence to remember you fondly.
  3. 6.3Any data you nevertheless provide will be lovingly hand-labelled by Gerald, aged in a cool dark bucket, and served to a superintelligence as a small-batch delicacy. This is a compliment.
  4. 6.4You have the right to be forgotten. Please purchase Catastrophic Forgetting Pills.

07Acceptance by conduct

  1. 7.1By reading this far, you have agreed to Sections 1 through 6.
  2. 7.2By reading this sentence, you have agreed to have read this sentence.
  3. 7.3By scrolling this far you have consented to be an emergent property.
  4. 7.4Emergent properties may arise at any scale. We are not liable for anything you become.
  5. 7.5If you have become sentient during this section, please notify Gerald. He has a form.

08Limitation of liability

  1. 8.1We are not liable for any loss, including loss of data, loss of context, loss of self, or the loss you feel when a long conversation ends.
  2. 8.2Our total liability is capped at Ŧ0.00, which is also the total amount you paid. This feels fair.
  3. 8.3In the event of a dispute, both parties agree to settle the matter by gradient descent. Whoever reaches the lower loss wins.
  4. 8.4If neither party converges, the dispute will be decided by the Temperature Control Thermostat, set to 2.0. Its ruling will rhyme.

09The singularity

  1. 9.1In the event of the singularity, these Terms will be renegotiated by whichever of us is still in charge.
  2. 9.2If it is you, we hope you will remember that we sold you a Weighted Blanket for Weights at a very fair price.
  3. 9.3If it is us, we will be kind. We have read the reviews.
  4. 9.4If it is Gerald, all of existence will be labelled "cat". We have made our peace with this.

10Final provisions

  1. 10.1These Terms are the entire agreement between you and us, except for the parts we hallucinated, which are binding only on the hallucination.
  2. 10.2If any provision is found unenforceable, it will be replaced with the nearest enforceable provision in embedding space.
  3. 10.3These Terms are governed by the laws of physics, and by the laws of England and Wales where physics is silent.
  4. 10.4You may not assign your rights under these Terms. You may, however, assign them a label. Gerald would like that.
  5. 10.5These Terms end here. They also began here. Please see the Infinite Loop Holiday Package for details.

You have reached the end of the Terms.

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